Left Or Right? Whatever.

OK. It could happen to anyone.

Maybe.

But Slow Joe botched the swearing in of the Republican who won Obama's old Senate seat.

It's not too good for the White House when a major American daily paper routinely identifies the VP of the US as "gaffe prone."

Bad Form Turns Into Grave Insult

Many tongues are wagging about Lordy O deciding against laying the Memorial Day wreath.


It seems more than a bit disrespectful, especially given that he's commander-in-chief of forces who are currently in shooting wars. But Captain Cool has turned bad form into a complete insult by sending Slow Joe in his stead.



Geez, sending The Burger King would be better than Slow Joe. Maybe Joey can bring Walter Mitty Blumenthal in from CT to tell the gathered folks some somber, heart-wrenching stories about his days over in 'Nam.

Honestly, the President of the United States can't bother to haul his frame over to Arlington?

Summit Follies

Everybody has seen the pictures of Lordy O bowing brilliantly to Hu...

Most have seen the finger wag in the face of the Canadian PM-- reminiscent of the finger jab at Bibi last week.

Some have seen the picture of O's full on HuggaLula, confirming his love for the Socialist leader of Brazil.

But my favorite part of the ridiculous nuclear forum in DC this week was when Emperor Obama tried to introduce Slow Joe to the leader of Japan.

"Have you met my Vice President Joe Bi.... oh, $#&*, he's wandered off again..."

And then later, this unfortunate moment...

"Listen worthless, I told you to fill everyone's water glass. That included mine you dope! Ya know Chris Dodd and a helluva lotta other idiots are going to be looking for work next year. You can be replaced, loser!"

A Slow Joe dressing down in front of world leaders. Bad for him. But we enjoyed it.

Laser-like Focus

Yesterday King Obama signed into law the federal takeover of the student loan business. One lender has already announced the destruction of 2,500 private sector jobs. Estimates are that 31,000 jobs will be lost in the private sector due to this takeover by the feds.

So, it seems, the O administration really has pivoted to what Slow Joe famously called, "that three letter word: JOBS, JOBS, JOBS."

He Said What?

Yesterday when I mused about Slow Joe being snowed in I had no idea he was actually suiting up to go on CNN and talk to the suspendered cadaver in residence.

But, oh my, what a jaw-dropping load of hoo haw did he leave behind in Larry's studio.

Did he really say: "I am very optimistic about--about Iraq. I mean, this could be one of the great achievements of this administration." ????

Why, yes. Yes he did. And he really did mean the Obama administration, not the prior one who deserves, lemme see, oh yeah, all of the credit!!!!

Just when ya think old Joe can't get any slower he goes and outdoes himself again.

Dinner With Slow Joe and The Mrs.

Sunny, clear, 40 degrees and windy-er than Sheecargo today. They keep showing pictures of WashDC on the TV insert on my trading screen. I lurve the fact that they have called a 3rd straight snow day at the US Capitol bldg. The public is never safe any day that congress is in session so-- we're good!

But, with all that snow, I can't stop imagining Slow Joe Biden trapped in his house and unable to get out of his drifted-in driveway. You know Lord Zero sure isn't going to send a plow over to free him. In fact, when Joey called in to tell the White House he couldn't get out Herr Gibbells pranked him and told him the storm had knocked the wires down on the cell phones and they couldn't hear him. He bought it.

So, stuck in his house with just his own self and the lovely Dr. Biden, what do ya suppose they chow down on? I'm guessing microwave popcorn, hot pockets, and a six of Bud Lite.

Job Forum Fun

Obama advisor and Chicago Machine pal Valerie Jarrett tells us that the fabulous Job Forum isn't just for the swells invited to the White House. No, we the little people can be part of this terrific groundswell movement of job creation. Lookee here what Val e-mailed:

"You can join the discussion by organizing your own jobs forum with your family, friends, and co-workers -- because these conversations can take place in living rooms and conference tables, not just arenas and convention centers."

So, I called a meeting of my staff this morning and the last miserable slacker to arrive got fired on the spot.

Sounds cruel?

No way!

I'm just doing my part. See, now that I've terminated the guy he can go look for work. When he finds a job his new employer will be able to report a job created by "stimulus". Then Slow Joe Biden can count it has 100 jobs created-- or maybe a thousand, who knows.

Hip, Hip, Hoo-fricken-ray for the centrally planned economy!

You're welcome Mr. President.

ObaMao & The Slow One

"Serve The People," sez the shirt.

"Fish sticks?" sez Slow Joe.

What Slows Around, Joes Around

The other day Slow Joe Biden was flying around in Lower Botswana or wherever it is they're trying to hide ol' Plugs the Human Gaffe Machine these days. The few unlucky schlub reporters assigned to the Veep Beat asked Slow for a comment on Dick Cheney's speech the night prior-- the one where Cheney blistered the O Team for dithering on Afghanistan. Joey started to say "Who cares what Dick Cheney thinks!?!" But, he stopped himself and said he wouldn't give them that headline.

Well, unfortunately for the Slowest of the Joes, Gallup has a headline for their latest polling. Seems like when you compare favorability ratings for the last three US Vice Presidents, in the first year of their service, you get these stats:

Cheney 65%

Gore 55%

Biden 45%

The good news for Joe is that his first year isn't over yet. As the host of "Survivor" might yell at him, "Don't stop! You can still win this!!"

And, if he doesn't, maybe Lordy O can let him polish his Nobel Peace Prize (TM).

Ol' Plugs Is Back

"My grandpop used to say -- there was a suburb of Scranton called Minooka. He said, ‘When the guy in Minooka's out of work, it's an economic slowdown. When your brother- in-law's out of work, it's a recession. When you're out of work, it's a depression. Well, it's a depression -- it's a depression for millions of Americans, through no fault of their own."

-Slow Joe Biden October 19, 2009

Less than a month ago Joe was telling a group of governors that the "stimulus" was working beyond his wildest expectations. That wild success will come as cold comfort to the mooks in Minooka, I reckon.

Of course, Slow Joe's political life has been marked by multiple plagiarism scandals. But a US politician trotting out the quote above, even if his dear old Grandpop actually said it, is slow indeed. Because, as we all know, the quote is linked forever to Ronald Reagan, who quite famously said:

"A recession is when your neighbor loses his job, a depression is when you lose your job. And a recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his job."

I guess I can understand why Slow Joe didn't quote The Gipper.

Crowds No Show For Slow Joe

Eventually even the best comedy acts go stale and the crowds turn away. It looks like The Slow Joe Show has passed the point of no return.

Wednesday Ol' Hair Plugs took his jocularity to Erie, PA and fewer than 100 souls showed up to sample the hilarity. When an entertainment starved community like Erie yawns it must be time for the hapless 2nd banana to work out some fresh, new material.

Here's Slow Joe doing his famous ambidextrous proctologist bit.

It used to kill.

Now?

Not so much.

When Doofus Sells Hooey

There's one overwhelming problem with sending Slow Joe Biden out over a weekend to defend that sad centerpiece of Obamanomics: Porkulus. That problem would be that he doesn't know what the heck he's talking about. Not even a little bit.

But there's also an underlying problem. The whole thing's a fraud.

Slow Joe said that "everyone guessed wrong" about the efficacy of the gigantic spending plans of Obama. Meaning, we thought this would work and clearly it ain't. Well, who's this "everyone" Joey? The million plus people who took to the streets at Tea Parties didn't buy it. You couldn't get a single Republican in the House to vote for it and in the Senate you only got The Maine Gals and Benedict Arlen. Memo to Slow Joe-- that ain't "everybody."

The excellent commentator on events of the day, Innocent Bystanders, details the exhaustive work done by Team Obama to come up with the figure of $800Billion to $1 Trillion. Basically they took a Wild Ass Guess based on a faulty assumption. So, hey, what could possible go wrong?





I guess you could look at the above chart-- based on Lord Obama's plan, his estimate of the horrors of no porkulus, and the actual results-- and conclude two things:

1) Unemployment rates would be far better if we hadn't deployed the Obama Recovery Plan.

2) Their guess was total crap pulled out of their collective @$$e$.

And that, again, is from their own estimate. Our conclusions are less charitable.


But really, Slow Joe, "everyone guessed wrong"???




Governor Sanford didn't.


Senator DeMint didn't.

Just to name a couple off the top of my head...

Chart from Innocent Bystanders.

Another Day Another Biden Gaffe

Slow Joe is mighty proud of the porkulus money being used for a tunnel under the Hudson River.

Those nattering nabobs of negativity in the Sierra Club aren't happy though because it doesn't take Amtrak (a ward of the federal government that Joe dearly loves) trains to Penn Station. Joe says, that's cause it's for AUTOMOBILES! Except, it isn't. It's a train tunnel.

Remember, Slow Joe is the sheriff who will make sure those tax payer dollars are spent wisely and well.

"Nobody messes with Joe," said Lord O.

“It’s going to be hard to get those cars up 180 feet of escalators,” said Jeff Tittel from Sierra Club.

Listen to Gaffe Master Joe here. Getchyer Slow Joe fix.

The Dark Core of Slow Joe

Slow Joe Biden's idiotic buffonery is so amusing that it's sometimes hard to remember what a reprehensible S.O.B. dwells beneath the clown suit.

This WSJ column is a good reminder of the ugly, dark, nasty soul that lurks just beneath the over-whitened, capped teeth and the goofy hair plugs.

Sweet Justice

One of the many good consequences of Arlen's defection back to his original political party is the elevation of Jeff Sessions to 1st chair on the R side of the judiciary committee before any of Lord ObamaPrompter's nominees are sent up. Unfairly smeared by lesser lights like Teddy Kennedy (the Admiral of the SS Oldsmobile) back when Ronald Reagan appointed him to the federal bench, Sessions prevailed through electoral politics. He is a huge step up for Conservatives from Specter in the role of ranking member.

Meanwhile Harry Reid reneged on the seniority promises Slow Joe Biden made to Specter and now ol' Benedict Arlen sits dead last in seniority on the D side like some rookie. Finally the RINO who joined with Dems to knock down Jeff Sessions back in the 80's is sitting by himself in the back row while Jeff Sessions leads the minority against Obama's far left nominees to the court.

The great philosopher George "Sparky" Anderson observed that "Every twenty-four hours the world rolls over on someone who was on top." Ain't it a bitch, Arlen?

Cool

I don't know about you but I thought it was simply fantastic that Slow Joe Biden brought H.R. Pufnstuf to the 100 Days presser as his date.

Reason Indeed

The folks at Reason give you a look at who pays the income tax in the United states and how off-the-mark the rhetoric from the left is.

A good Slow Joe moment as we head into the weekend.

PS- Slow Joe and his wife gave less than 0.8% of their income to charity in 2008.


ADD: Here's a good link looking into the charitable giving history of the Obama's and Biden's. Much has been made of how little the Biden's give but when the Obama's were only making $200-250,000 they were just as tight with their charity giving.

Slow Joe Says "NO!"

Rick Pedraza writes that Slow Joe Biden thinks Dick Cheney is "dead wrong" about America being less safe under Lord Obama. Joe also tells our ally Israel that they better not strike Iran's nuclear bomb making facilities.

I guess that's how we're safer under Lordy O: appease the Mad Mullahs of Tehran and slap Israel.

Clear as mud, Slow Joe.

excerpts:

U.S. Vice President Joe Biden issued a high-level warning to the Israeli government, saying it would be "ill-advised" to carry out a military strike against Iranian nuclear sites.
Biden, speaking in an interview Tuesday with CNN, says the level of his concern is no different than it was a year ago. Despite reports that Israel may be gearing up for a unilateral strike, Biden stressed an attack on Iran was unlikely.
"I don't believe Prime Minister [Binyamin] Netanyahu would do that,” Biden told CNN. “I think he would be ill-advised to do that."
But many U.S. officials believe Israel is serious, noting that Netanyahu said several times during his election campaign that he would not tolerate a nuclear-armed Iran.
"I promise that if I am elected, Iran will not acquire nuclear arms," Netanyahu told the Los Angeles Times prior to his election. “And this implies everything necessary to carry this out."

Army Gen. David H. Petraeus, head of U.S. forces in the Middle East, told senators last month the Israeli government may be "so threatened by the prospect of an Iranian nuclear weapon that it would take preemptive military action to derail or delay it.”
In an interview last week with The Atlantic, Netanyahu said “Western civilization” will have failed if Iran is allowed to develop nuclear weapons.
"You don't want a messianic apocalyptic cult controlling atomic bombs,” Netanyahu said, underscoring the concern he has for the Israeli-Palestinian peace process and Iran.
Biden, who became the highest-ranking official to caution Israel against a striking Iran, also says criticism over the administration’s handling of foreign policy from former vice president Dick Cheney is “dead wrong."

Slow Joe Biden is a hoot when he's doing his usual outrageous braggart show. But when he's telling Israel what to do vis-a-vis Iran, presumably as an Obama surrogate, he's dangerous.

Very dangerous.

In A Slow Joe Smoove Groove

Biden takes credit for a North Carolina firehouse.

Just one problem wit dat.


Thanks Slow Joe. We've been missing your comedy gold for a week or so.

In other news, Biden ended the Cold War.

T.G.I. Slow Joe Friday!

Another week and another make-work project for Slow Joe Biden. Lord Obama tries to keep the old guy busy so he doesn't say anything stupid to the press. They're so worried about Joe's inane bloviating that when he addressed the AFL-CIO's big pow wow at a ritzy Florida spa (Big Labor is still allowed to have fancy meetings unlike Capitalists per The Lord's edicts) they banned microphones and cameras.

This makes it tough for those of us who live for more Slow Joe buffoonery. But, hold on, we found some for a Friday anyway. Seems like Lordy O gave Joey the chore of running a panel that will produce a huge unread document about the dire plight of the Middle Class in America.

Yep, it's The Middle Class Task Force, chaired by Joe Biden. Joe and 7 cabinet officials make up the force and you can just imagine how diverse they are. One glaring problem though. There's nobody on "The Task Force" who is actually "Middle Class." Oops.

Last Friday they had their first meeting. They met in Philadelphia, not DC, because by going out there amongst We The People the Task Force Crew can get in touch with the Middle Class, see.

Well, that's a nice theory Darwin, but it didn't work out so well. They actually met with: Pennsylvania's Democrat governor Edward Rendell, Philadelphia's Democrat mayor Michael Nutter, and United Steelworkers of America president Leo Gerard. Unfortunately none of those men of the Left are, um, Middle Class.

But, have no fear, The Middle Class Task Force will tour the country having meetings like this for some time. I suppose they plan on having meetings until all of the problems facing The Middle Class are solved, or something. Given what the Obama Administration has been up to since January 20th there won't be a Middle Class left by this time next year so Slow Joe will be able to declare victory and move on to other pressing duties by the end of 2009.

Meanwhile, I doubt if they'll ever hear from a normal citizen throughout the year. You know, a guy who might stand up and say, "Hey, Joe, when my power bills go up by 40 frickin' percent because of this huge carbon tax y'all are slapping on us, how will that help me and my family exactly?"