Thursday, May 15, 2008

John Edwards Comes Out

Last night John Edwards came out and endorsed the elegant, sleek, handsome, nattily-attired, impeccably-groomed, young Democrat Party front-runner. Edwards, you may remember, is the incredibly wealthy ambulance-chasing trial attorney who in 2003 saw that his US senate career would end after just one ineffective term and therefore decided to run instead for the 2004 Democrat nomination for president. He lost. John Kerry picked him for the VP slot, however. Together they lost. Next, former Clintonista operative Erskine Bowles became president of the University of North Carolina and gave Johnny E. a made-up job so he wouldn't have to go back to shaking down insurance companies full time. He got to travel all over the country giving speeches about mill workers, little girls without coats, his dad's flickering B&W TV set, blah blah blah and was paid for this by the benevolent tax payers of North Carolina through the offices of UNC Chapel Hill. Hey, it beats working in the mill! Chapel Hill is, of course, the town near Johnny's huge estate-- built with the money he pocketed while driving up the cost of health care in America. Sweet! Some people create wealth, others are born to confiscate it. Why, it's almost like there are "two Americas."

The phony baloney job Erskine Bowles gave him was, of course, just a way to keep Edwards visible as he prepared a 2008 run for the Dem nom. Hey, what a surprise, he ran. No surprise, he lost. Again. The fact that this oily lawyer who lost all but one time in his entire political career is endorsing the guy who already has a mortal lock on the nomination was apparently a big news event. Right.

Edwards did a riff on his idiotic "two Americas" populist theme-- that same theme that lost him election after election by the way. He said, "There is one man who knows in his heart that it is time to create one America, not two." That one man, I suppose, is not John Edwards but rather Barack Obama. Fine. A few months ago John was telling us he was the only man, now he says Obama is the only man and, after many weeks of decision, he decided Hillary couldn't be that only man who can create America, er, one America, um, or at least an America where little girls can afford a warm coat in winter. Okey dokey, Johnny. But, if that One America is governed by twerps like you two lawyers, you'll find an awful lot of us won't be going along quietly.