Monday, September 15, 2008

Slow Joe Show Hits Bank City

Hey now! Slow Joe Biden was in the neighborhood yesterday. He raised a few bucks, spoke to several hundred people at a rally in Charlotte, and seemed oblivious to the fact that polls have shown North Carolina firmly in the McCain-Palin camp. The Obama campaign, prior to the conventions and the unveiling of Secret Weapon Sarah, promoted to an adoring press the odd notion that both NC and GA were "in play" this cycle. If "in play" means that Obama-Biden is only 17-20 points behind then, well yeah, sure.

Perhaps this will be Slow Joe's role now in the sputtering, rudderless Obama campaign-- send him off to states where he can't screw up a close race. You know, put him out there to talk to "the bitter clingers"-- the morons so stooopid they don't realize that the New York Times and a guy named Charlie at ABC think Governor Palin isn't a good idea for America's next Vice President. Hey, maybe Ol' Slow Joe will bring 'em around! Just look how he dazzled 'em in Charlotte last night while all sane folks were celebrating the Panthers come from behind victory over the Bears at Bank of America (Merrill Lynch too! WooHoo!!) Stadium in Uptown:

-- Biden called Senator McCain's criticisms of Barack Obama's tax policy “a bunch of malarkey.”
In fact, Senator Joe argued that McCain “Just doesn't get it.” Good insight there: malarkey and a hackneyed phrase. Excellent ripostes, sir. I salute you.

-- He bragged about his physical endurance when he stated “I could walk from here to Greensboro!” That's a 92 mile walk. I guess he's trying to show that, although he was already warming a chair in the US Senate way back in January 1973, 35+ years ago, he's still a vigorous hard-chargin' dynamo. He also claimed that along the way he would not run into any McCain/Palin supporters on economic issues. Now, that's a bold claim, Joe. Hyperbole from Biden? Never!

-- Earlier in the day Joe attended a fundraiser at the fashionable south Charlotte home of Crandall Bowles, the former CEO of Springs Global. Springs Global is a textile giant. Let's just say that their corporate policy vis-a-vis manufacturing locales does not square with the broad anti-trade, union-friendly, populist message from Democrats these days. But one would have to be paying attention to appreciate the scene of committed Clintonistas like Erskine and Crandall Bowles now holding fundraisers for Obama. Party first, I reckon.

-- Joe told the friendly crowd that “John McCain and Sarah Palin, they apparently don't think we have any obligation … to retrain and re-educate people who've been displaced by a modern economy.” He apparently offered no examples to buttress this incorrect claim-- but nobody cared. It's delicious to watch Slow Joe go from a fundraiser held by the former CEO of a textile company that (wisely) moved thousands of US manufacturing jobs to South America, China, Mexico etc. and on to criticize the (imagined) McCain/Palin position on displaced jobs, education and training.

-- Democrats enjoy the obligatory "parade of victims" moment. Last night was no exception. After the presentation of someone whose child is not being covered by their health insurance company for a pre-existing condition Biden pledged that the American taxpayer would cover insuring everyone in an Obama/ Biden administration. At least I think that's what he was saying. Maybe Obama-Biden will still allow private health insurance, but it will be regulated even more than today and some bureaucrat I guess, a commissar of some sort, will tell those "private" companies how to run their business or else. Here's what Slow Joe said, “I absolutely commit to you, I guarantee you, that under the Barack Obama-Joe Biden health care plan, no insurance company will be able to deny you because of a pre-existing condition.… It will not happen.” We assume he meant "deny you coverage."

Now that can't be malarkey because Joe Biden eschews malarkey.

UPDATE! : I just heard a soundbite from Michigan where Slow Joe said he could "walk from here to Lansing..." Who knew US Senators had such a hard time gettin' a lift?