We went immediately to the big door marked "RESEARCH DEPT." when we saw this story about Strawberry the stock-pickin' parrot. Our research team of dart-throwin' monkeys has performed well, but there's always room for improvement right up until the day we are all reclining in the swinging hammock of socialism. So, of course, we wanted some answers from J. Fred Muggs, our VP of Research. The best he could come up with was that Strawberry was lucky in a rigged game. And something about how much tougher it was to fling darts than to just drop some balls. He then tried to change the subject by pointing us to this story about the amorous ram who let an unplanned zip line come between him and a field of delightfully embraceable ewes.
That's one hung-up sheep.
Nice try Muggs, but I have my eye on your department during these tough times in Obamerica. You are expendable and your entire department could be replaced by a bird. So, don't try anything fishy.
